Keys to THRIVE – Expectancy

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Keys to THRIVE , Wellness

God has given us everything we need to live a godly life (I Peter 1:3) and offers us abundant life (John 10:10).  It is our desire to equip you with the keys to unlock this potential and THRIVE in life.

To THRIVE in life we need to have:  Togetherness, Holiness, Relevance, Integration, Vision, Expectancy

 Expectant –

“The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”  I Thessalonians 5:24

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”  II Timothy 2:13

He has called you, He is faithful, He will do it!  Let that sink in for a moment.  God can’t be unfaithful because he can’t deny Himself.  This means we can expect God to show up and make things happen.  So has God called you to THRIVE in your life?  If you’re not sure, go back and read this series again.  Is He bigger than any of the thing that have been limiting you in your life? 

One of the biggest limitations we have in our culture when it comes to our faith in God is that we don’t expect Him to show up, we don’t expect Him to answer our prayers, and while we know intellectually that He loves us we don’t act as through He really loves us as sons and daughters!  As a foster and adoptive parent I would do anything for my kids but many times they don’t believe it because they have been so damaged and seen the opposite for so long.  We are just like that with God, we have been hurt by this world and lied to by our culture.  Think about it, when you pray do you sit back and expect God to do something or do you move on with life having fulfilled your obligation to pray but not really expecting anything to happen.  If you are one of those people who were brought up expecting God to show up and answer prayers, where is that expectancy end?  Can that be expanded?  Do you need to expect God to show up in even bigger ways?

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”  James 1:6

If we pray without expecting anything then we get just that.  So if you are ready begin the journey towards believing that God has called you and that he will show up and make that calling happen in your life we are here for you.  If you are ready to THRIVE in life, we would consider it an honor and a privilege to come along side of you and help you get there!

So here is how we do things at Grace Wellness Center.  God has called us to invest in people in a real, genuine and relational way.  We consider it an honor and a privilege to be invited into people’s journey.  The more you are ready to invest in yourself the more we can invest in you as well.  So if you are ready to begin your journey towards THRIVING then we want to come along side of you and share in that burden.  However, if you are not ready for that then this isn’t for you, but we will be here when you are ready!

Keys to THRIVE – Vision

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Keys to THRIVE , Wellness

God has given us everything we need to live a godly life (I Peter 1:3) and offers us abundant life (John 10:10).  It is our desire to equip you with the keys to unlock this potential and THRIVE in life.

To THRIVE in life we need to have:  Togetherness, Holiness, Relevance, Integration, Vision, Expectancy

 Vision –

“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”  Proverbs 21:5

“The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”  Proverbs 16:9

We are called to have visions, plans and desires.  Despite what you may have been taught, we are active players in this world and in our own lives.  However, this never minimizes or negates the sovereignty of God.  We are to plan and be visionaries but only in full dependence on God and in submission to his sovereignty!

Do you allow yourself to meditate on what it would like if you could THRIVE!  This is difficult because when we sit down to envision this, all kinds of limitations pop up and get in the way.  What if there were no limitations?  What if God removed those limitations and redeemed you from all of it at the cross!  Well, He did!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,” Hebrews 12:1

Ok, now is where someone says “yeah but we still have limitations, I couldn’t play in the NFL just because I believe I can!”  And you would be correct, but God DID remove all the limitations to you THRIVING in YOUR life in what YOU are called to do and be.  You are not limited in fulfilling your calling and having the abundant life God came to give you (John 10:10.)  And when you get there you wouldn’t want to be playing in the NFL; in fact you wouldn’t want to be doing anything other than what you are doing.

Keys to THRIVE- Integration

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Keys to THRIVE , Wellness

God has given us everything we need to live a godly life (I Peter 1:3) and offers us abundant life (John 10:10).  It is our desire to equip you with the keys to unlock this potential and THRIVE in life.

To THRIVE in life we need to have:  Togetherness, Holiness, Relevance, Integration, Vision, Expectancy

Integration –

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”  Hebrews 4:12

 “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  I Thessalonians 5:23

God has created us Body, Soul and Spirit!  We are physical, emotional and spiritual.  We are also made to be relational in all aspects of our being.  These areas of life all work together and affect each other.  Therefore, all approaches to healing and wellness must be integrated to be effective!  We must be willing to look at all areas of our life and not just one area that we see as important. 

Let’s look at the common example of someone trying to lose weight repeatedly unsuccessfully.  They are trying to be healthy in their body but are often blocked because of emotional and spiritual problems.  The harsh reality is that only 2% of people who try to lose weight actually keep it off.  This is because of a lack of integration in the approach to health.  Now broaden this view to all areas of change.  If we take on any process of change but are not using an integrated approach you likely will suffer from frustration and eventually give up.  You’ve experienced this before?  It can be different this time. 

Keys to THRIVE – Relevance

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Keys to THRIVE , Wellness

God has given us everything we need to live a godly life (I Peter 1:3) and offers us abundant life (John 10:10).  It is our desire to equip you with the keys to unlock this potential and THRIVE in life.

To THRIVE in life we need to have:  Togetherness, Holiness, Relevance, Integration, Vision, Expectancy

Relevance –

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”  I Corinthians 13:1-3

 “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.”  I Corinthians 9:19

Ok so this is super important.  We need to be relevant and to be relevant we need to love!  Love, not just as I understand it but love so that others receive it.  If I love in a way that it is not received, it is irrelevant.  To truly love and receive love we need to have people in our lives who are willing to get to know us and understand how we are wired.  Do you have people like that?  It is our desire, through these “Keys to Thrive,” to meet you where you are and communicate God’s love in a manner that is relevant to your life and your circumstances.  . 

The limitation here for people is perspective.  Through life’s experiences our perspective becomes limited so when we see something that we don’t understand we can’t adapt to it.  When we can’t allow ourselves to see things from the other person’s perspective this becomes very toxic not only for us but to others in our lives.

My friend, we are all damaged.  We all hurt and we all are limited by our perspective.  We suffer loneliness, disconnection, and a lack of satisfying relationship when we don’t truly here others and know how to be truly heard ourselves.  Do you feel like sometimes people don’t understand you and that you are often not on the same wavelength with people?  This could be a problem of not knowing how to be relevant and how to give and receive love in a transformational way.  

Keys To Thrive – Holiness

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Keys to THRIVE , Wellness

God has given us everything we need to live a godly life (I Peter 1:3) and offers us abundant life (John 10:10).  It is our desire to equip you with the keys to unlock this potential and THRIVE in life.

To THRIVE in life we need to have:  Togetherness, Holiness, Relevance, Integration, Vision, Expectancy

Holiness

“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord”  Hebrews 12:14

“but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’”  I Peter 1:15-16

God has called us to be holy and without holiness we cannot connect with God or live a godly life.  In a world that is addicted to self and to comfort, we are taught to pursue happiness.  This influence from the world gives us another limitation.  It limits our view of our circumstances and makes us very ego centric.  As we remove this limitation and stand in awe of God’s holiness, our perspective on ourselves, our circumstances and the world we live in completely change.  We become open to a whole new understanding that helps us THRIVE no matter what our circumstances are.  We begin to recognize that we can have something so much better than happiness.  Holiness leads to joy which is not dependent on our circumstances and no manner of suffering can remove joy that comes from God.

Are you ready to shed the limitations that come from the pursuit of happiness and put on the rewards of pursuing holiness?  Where ever you are, God wants to meet you there, embrace you and impart to you His joy.  The more we become consumed by this joy the more we see how lacking the pursuit of happiness was.  This is what Solomon was referring to when he said in Ecclesiastes 1:14, “I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.”  Like trying to catch the wind, all attempts to capture what the world offers only leads to momentary happiness that is gone in an instant.  Even if we could catch it and keep it, it isn’t worth having anyways, it is only vanity.

Keys to THRIVE – Togetherness

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Keys to THRIVE , Marriage , Wellness

God has given us everything we need to live a godly life (I Peter 1:3) and offers us abundant life (John 10:10).  It is our desire to equip you with the keys to unlock this potential and THRIVE in life.

To THRIVE in life we need to have:  Togetherness, Holiness, Relevance, Integration, Vision, Expectancy

Togetherness

 “that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.”  I John 1:3

God has called us to be in relationship with Him and with others.  The quality of these relationships affects all areas of our lives.  In order to live the life we were called to, if we are to thrive in life, we must connect in healthy ways with God and with others.  What is the quality of your relationships?  If there is some lack there, you can bet it is affecting all other areas of life.  In Godly connectedness, we become available to the will and call of God as well as to others we are in relationship with.   A commitment to Godly togetherness means we need to be willing to be vulnerable or emotionally naked with God and in healthy relationships with others.  

Wow, that sounds scary!  Well it certainly is, but remember that we serve a big and compassionate God who wants what is best for us.  He wants to meet you where you are and help you each step of the way.  Fear is probably the biggest limitation in life.  Removing limitations is one of our core concepts in our THRIVE philosophy.  As you remove the limitation of fear one step at a time, you will be moving closer and closer to your call to THRIVE in life.  When looking at the whole process of overcoming fear and connecting in a vulnerable way it is overwhelming.  But taken one step at a time with a patient God, skilled helper, and quality connections it is very doable.  With God you CAN do it! 

My Splankna Experience

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Counseling , Splankna Healing Ministry , Wellness

What on earth is “Splankna?”  I’m glad you asked.  Let me first tell you my experience and then I will let you know how to find out more about it.
After several years of being involved in Christian ministry I found Splankna healing ministry and it changed my life.  As a Christian counselor, I worked with many people through Biblical counseling and saw a lot of progress but it was limited.  Many people didn’t get well and others got well but never really thrived.

    “and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”  John 8:32 NASB

If the truth is suppose to set us free, why were so many not being set free?  Why was I not being set free?  I found out that it is because lies and agreements made during hurtful experiences were still running in my subconscious and the truth could not take root.  I also learned spiritual warfare, which was mostly ignored during my Christian upbringing, had much more of an impact than I knew.

When I first began training in Splankna healing ministry I saw my connection with God open up as each barrier was removed.  The next thing I noticed was that I began to be more of myself and got back to who God had created me to be.  One of those areas was in physical health.  Over the past 15 years or so I had developed unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits that lead to me putting on 60 pounds and becoming very unhealthy.  This is not who I was, I knew that, but couldn’t get back to the healthy, active and athletic person I use to be.  After having Splankna therapy I began to notice I no longer was drawn to my unhealthy habits and that they were no longer connected to the same emotional needs.  I began to change my lifestyle and over the next couple years I lost 60 pounds and started running marathons.  Now don’t worry, if that isn’t who you are, Splankna won’t make you run marathons!  But, it will allow you to be more you, whoever that is.  Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Well, not only can you experience that for yourself, you can help other people experience it as well by coming to our upcoming training here in Pittsburgh.  Splankna is a mind-body healing ministry that allows you to get directly to the root of persistent problems in your life and heal the brokenness behind those problems.  This is done by utilizing the created mechanism behind mind-body healing and utilizing Christian healing ministry, prayer, forgiveness and techniques to address spiritual warfare.  It is by far the most effective and powerful tool I have ever used in ministry and counseling.

Splankna training is for Christian counselors, pastors and others wanting to help people.  You do not have to be a licensed counselor or ordained minister to take the training and begin helping people heal.  Please contact me directly with any questions or to come to the office and see a live demonstration.  If interested please email me at sluther@thegracewellnesscenter.com.

Life is a Journey, do more than survive; choose to THRIVE!

By Stephen Luther
Executive Director of Grace Wellness Center
Licensed Professional Counselor, Therapeutic Parent Coach and Splankna Trainer

Why Can’t I Get Well?

By Stephen Luther | Blog , Counseling , Splankna Healing Ministry , Walking Wounded , Wellness

We have all had this experience; we know what is wrong, we want to get well, we may even seek help, but nothing works.  It’s frustrating and if you’re like a lot of people, you have just accepted that some things won’t change.  You’ve accepted something less than the abundant life Christ came to give you.  Or maybe you have accepted some watered down version of abundant life and become convinced there is nothing more.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  John 10:10 NASB

But if Christ came so that we can have abundant life, it must be possible.  I challenge you to start believing that.  Or at least to start wanting to believe it.  Are you willing to do that?  Let’s look deeper into this issue and explore what is going on and why so many of us can’t find freedom.

Most of our issues are deeply rooted and buried in our subconscious.  They emerge when they are triggered but then they get submerged until they are “needed” again.  These issues are the result of a past wound or maybe many past experiences that hurt you.  These experiences come with a lot of negative emotion that get attached to that issue and, unless resolved, weigh it down and keep it buried in your subconscious.  You may be aware that it is there, but in your conscious mind you cannot resolve it or deal with all of its impact.  Think of something being submerged in the deep end of a pool weighed down by a lot of heavy weights.  You may dive down and try to bring it to the surface but the weights become too much and you lose your grip and it sinks to the bottom again.  This is what it is like when we try to resolve deeply rooted issues.  We try to bring it to the surface and deal with it but we can’t.  Each time we try, we begin to lose faith that it can be resolved.  It’s hard to believe something can be resolved when all your experiences tell you otherwise.  It’s hard to believe you can truly be free and have abundant life.  That’s why I challenged you, that if you can’t believe it, you can want to believe it.  That’s where it starts.  Choose to want to believe you can get well, offer that to God and ask him to fill in the gaps in your faith.

Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”  Mark 9:24

Let go back to our analogy for a second.  What if you could dive down and one at a time cut the weights off of this thing that is submerged in the deep end of the pool.  With each weight that is removed it would begin to rise and eventually be floating on the surface of the water.   Could you remove it now?  absolutely!  So what if we could do that with those deeply rooted issues in our lives?  Well, you can.  This is exactly what we do in Splankna healing ministry.

At Grace Wellness Center we provide both Splankna treatment and in partnership with the Splankna Institute are now offering level 1 Splankna training to pastors, counselors and anyone else who has a passion for ministry and helping others in the Pittsburgh area.  You do not have to be a pastor or professional counselor to use this tool.  In my personal counseling practice and ministry, Splankna has become my most valuable tool and I believe once you experience it you will understand why.  Training is coming to Pittsburgh in July 2016 so don’t miss out!

Please contact me directly with any questions or to come to the office and see a live demonstration.  If interested please email me at sluther@thegracewellnesscenter.com

Life is a Journey, do more than survive; choose to THRIVE!

By Stephen Luther

Executive Director of Grace Wellness Center

Licensed Professional Counselor, Therapeutic Parent Coach and Splankna Trainer

Integrated Wellness: My Personal Struggles, Successes, and the Relation to Family Therapy

By Jonathan Held | Blog , Coaching , Counseling , Life , Wellness

Hi, my name is Jonathan Held, LCSW. Today I wanted to talk about my personal struggles, and successes with wellness and how family and/or couples therapy can fit into overall wellness.

First allow me to share with you some of the ways I have learned to bring wellness into my own life. I should start by saying that if you’re thinking why would I listen to this guy he thinks he has it all together, I can assure you that is not the case. Like most people, I struggle to maintain balance in my life. As a teenager I was probably about 100 pounds overweight. One of my greatest accomplishments was losing this weight; however, through most of my life I was rarely able to motivate myself to exercise. About one year ago (at 32 years of age) I discovered Beachbody and set a goal for myself that I would exercise six days a week for a year. I am happy to say that I achieved this goal and still continue to have daily exercise in my life. (I also – through Beachbody – have been turned onto Shakeology, which is what I am about to enjoy in this picture!). Like most accomplishments that stick, I did not try to do anything extreme, but instead attempted to bring balance by exercising 20 to 30 minutes a day and often modifying so as to not injure myself. You’re probably thinking wait a minute, I thought you were going to talk about family therapy – the tie in is this: setting small goals each day can sometimes produce the greatest results!

Other areas of life in which it is important to set (and maintain) small goals include family life, parenting, and romantic relationships/marriage. Generally speaking, I attempt to maintain a positive outlook on life and work towards maintaining positive relationships with all of those in my circle of influence – especially my immediate family. One of the best ways that I have found to do this is by making sure that each of my children – and my spouse – has a small amount of individualized attention each day, I will also attempt to have significant family time daily and weekly. Sometimes this can just be as simple as sitting down at the dinner table together, or going for a family walk/bike ride. The important goal is to maintain connection through family rituals.

In my practice, I often focus on relationships and the building of effective communication. I find that this can be a great step to maintaining overall wellness (I’m sure most of us can attest to the fact that we just don’t feel well – or make healthy choices – when we are not getting along well with our loved ones). The areas I am most passionate about  in practice are marriage and family. It surprises me how often couples and families state that they do not spend quality time together. I believe that part of the barrier to this is that we get stuck in negative patterns and ultimately avoid communication – which I believe is one of the magic pills to getting un-stuck in families (perhaps I should have said effective communication).

EFFECTIVE communication is where family therapy comes in. Through family work, I help others to communicate more effectively with each other, and help families to restructure in a way that children can thrive through an appropriate balance of structure and bonding/nurturing. One of the keys to this is helping parents discuss areas where they can more effectively align/work together to parent and to help talk with their children about emotional needs.

Of course family therapy is not the only focus – even in individual therapy, relationships (and wellness!) often become a part of the focus. Through assessment we will work together to determine areas of emotional stuckness in past/current relationships, work through ways to heal these hurts, and plan for ways to build and continue to maintain healthy relationships in the future.

One of the most important parts of therapy is YOU. Through counseling we will work together to help you come up with goals that make sense for your life (or your family) and establish a pace that works for you with an appropriate balance of pacing and challenging/meeting achievable goals. If you are ready to begin a journey towards healing and integrated wellness please call us at 724.863.7223 or you can email me directly at jah915@gmail.com.

A Dog Fight

By Ron Agostoni | Blog , Counseling , Life , Walking Wounded , Wellness

“That will teach them”.  Every utter that phrase? Ever experience that feeling of rage building inside of you, ready to explode out of your chest like something from the movie Alien.  Like an untamed wild animal gnawing at your mind and emotions. There’s that desire to tell someone off, cuss them out, or to slam on the accelerator speeding past the person who cut you off while “flipping the bird”. Like a dog tugging at its leash, it pulls you down, drags you about, and leads you down somewhere you don’t want to go.  And what do we call that dog; it goes by the name of Anger.

This dog named Anger has a message.  In the midst of the gnarling and the showing of teeth, it’s saying: “They deserved it”, “They will pay for that”, “They will regret it”, “I swear to God, I’m gonna…”, “If only they would shut up, then I wouldn’t…”.   And the fight is on.  The fight between giving someone a piece of your mind and that voice saying, “let it go”.  And there it is, the other dog named self-control; telling you to stop, or you shouldn’t do that, this won’t help.  So which dog is going to win, well it depends on which dog you feed the most.

That untamed dog named Anger has proven to destroy friendships, marriages, land someone in prison, and can even lead to major health problems.  But the dog named self-control is capable, patient, mature, forgiving, expresses forbearance, and restores.  Which dog do you feed?  John 6:35 reads: Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”  Are you eating from the bread of life or are feasting off the bait of Satan?

Scripture reveals to us that vengeance belongs to our Lord.  Deuteronomy 32:35 reads: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”  The truth is that vengeance is His and we have no right to seek it out on our own.  We are required to forgive, this is not an option that we have the right to decide whether or not we will forgive someone, but rather something that is vital to our wellbeing, both spiritually and physically. We are called daily to forgive, 7×70, not allowing the sun to set on our anger.  Despite the dog fight between wanting our own “pound of flesh” and “turning the other cheek”, the fact is that God will avenge us and He is more swift and just than we are.

Even as I write this, I am reminded of the dog fights I have had to endure throughout my life. When I was younger, if someone hurt me, I would hurt them worse just to “teach them a lesson”.  We may feel justified to retaliate, or to speak our minds telling someone exactly what we think, but we are not. And there lies the problem as I see it. That side where we believe that we are entitled to seek justice and “speak our mind” and the side that reminds us we are not.  Let me be clear about this, I am not saying that anger in itself is wrong, sinful, or always unwanted.  After all anger is only an emotion.  However, what we do with that anger and how much time we devote to “feeding that dog”; well that can turn into a destructive pattern within our lives.

When we feed off of the bread of life and enjoy the fruits of the spirit, allowing God to deal with those who have offended us, the load on our shoulders is no longer heavy.  There is a relief and a sense of freedom that comes about. So in the end, the hard part in managing your anger comes down to the struggle between your sinful soul that seeks justice and the spirit of God what dwells inside of you. Which dog will you feed more? Learn to lean of the strength of God that dwells inside of you.  You need to prevent anger from overcoming your thoughts and life by being in the word of God because when you are in the word of God, His word reminds you of these things that provide the strength you need.  So be still and know that He is God and there you will find that peace that surpasses all understanding. And isn’t that is the end goal you’re seeking, that peace that surpasses all understanding while in the midst of a dog fight.

One last thought to consider, there are tools that can help you develop that self-control and manage your anger.  Head knowledge is good, Godly wisdom is essential, and developing tools that help enable self-control is possible.  If you are struggling with anger, or know someone who is, call the main office of Grace Wellness Center at 724-866-7223 for more information on our anger management group.  It is a group that utilizes Cognitive Behavior techniques and the word of God to reach a more abundant life.  Let go of angers leash and find rest in God.