Here’s how things work in my house…we like our sleep. So, I get my kids up at 6:25AM and they are on the bus by 6:45AM. 20 minutes to get ready, eat breakfast, do a small chore and out the door. We’re super efficient! No getting up at 5AM and cooking bacon…which as a vegan I think is one of the worst things you can eat besides like drinking a cup of bleach.
But anyways, you get it…there’s no time to spare.
So, one morning this past week I woke up and looked at my clock and it was 7:05…Oh crap, the kids missed but bus, I’m going to have to drive them, my wife is going to kill me…
I go to my daughters’ room and open the door…no one there. I go to my sons’ room…again, no one there. I rush downstairs and can’t find anyone. I open the refrigerator….all the lunches are gone. I look at the hooks where they hang their back packs and they’re gone.
My wife is sound asleep, my kids are gone. So either someone kid napped them…making sure to take their lunches for when they get hungry and their backpacks so they can keep learning while being held captive…or…
My kids managed this on their own, did the right thing, and are on their way to school.
Figuring the second of these two options is more likely I was settling down with a cup of coffee…when my wife came down the stairs. She goes into the kitchen and yells in…”hey why didn’t you make sure the kids emptied the dishwasher this morning.”
So I’m sitting there with this, “I’m in trouble” look on my face as I explain, ”I’m not really sure what happened this morning.”
I explained what happened and that the best I could figure, one of the kids woke up, got the rest of the kids up and made sure they all got out the door to the bus on time. As it turns out my kids ages, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 12 did just that. They helped each other out and made it to the bus without Dad!
My kids did the right thing!
This was awesome…my wife wasn’t surprised, she knows our kids and figured that would be what they would do so she just said…”well you need to empty the dish washer then.” Okay gladly!
So why am I telling you this? Because it hasn’t always been that way. We had more than our fair share of chaos and doing the wrong thing with our 13 kids, many of whom came through the foster care system. And don’t get me wrong, they aren’t perfect now either…but generally this is how things go. They do the right thing!
Okay so why am I telling you this? Because 12 years ago, my family was really struggling, and this type of thing didn’t happen. I was studying for my second master’s degree in counseling and found no answers…I later figured out that most therapists don’t have the training and tools to work with foster and adoptive kids with attachment issues.
Don’t get me wrong…it’s not their fault…they’ve never been taught.
That was my experience in school…nothing I was learning helped me with my foster kids. That’s why I put together the My Kids Community.
It is my passion to help families with foster and adoptive kids THRIVE! It is my God given calling and I literally sit here and get excited about the families who are being helped by this community and who don’t have to struggle for a decade trying to figure this all out like I did.
Hey thanks for reading and if you’re doing really well and don’t need this, that’s awesome, please pass this information on to someone who could benefit.
For the rest of you who don’t have this therapeutic parenting thing down…check it out and see if you are as excited as I am about this!
PS: Please no emails about how much you love bacon…and for those of you who just need to know…yes I get enough protein as a vegan!
You are Called To THRIVE!
By Stephen Luther
Executive Director of Grace Wellness Center
Licensed Professional Counselor and Therapeutic Parent Coach
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